Countdowns

Tomorrow is the last day at my current office.  I've arranged a transfer down the road to a cousin organization.  It's not exactly a promotion but puts me in line for one, assuming I can perform well in the new environment.  Mentally, I swear I can hear the countdown clicking. Tick, tock.

It's been a surreal couple of weeks since I announced my intent to depart.  I've watched my team go through the 7 stages of change (anger, pain, denial, and the rest).  Which was weird for me because /I've/ known that I'm leaving the team for some time now, so it was not new to me.  Watching the news ripple through the team was an odd experience because I wasn't grappling with the same new information as them. I felt like an outside observer, even though I'd thrown the rock that started the ripples.

They are happy for me; the new gig is actually a pretty good deal.  They are sad for the team and concerned about what I may know that they don't (truth is: nothing, hah). I have known these people most of my career - 16-17 years, depending how you count, and over the past 24 hours I have said a lot of hard goodbyes.  I'll say many more tomorrow.  Although I am the deputy lead today, members of the team are my former team leads and mentors that held those kinds of positions 15-20 years ago.  I've been a part of their family and they've been a part of mine - weddings, funerals, and graduations all shared.  I'm leaving for the right reasons, but I'll still miss my friends.

Another realization as the countdown clicks down:  Today I am the center of attention, surrounded by friends.  Monday will be a new day, and I will be the new guy, and largely alone.

I type this and it perhaps sound like I'm apprehensive, sad, or scared.  In fact, I'm determined.  It's a path I started on over a year ago.  It's a contingency plan that I kept smoldering over several long months.  It's something I wanted; something I wished for.  Perhaps the reality of the situation is finally settling over me; tomorrow I will turn in my badge and walk out the door. Should I return, I will be a visitor and require an escort.  Between tomorrow morning at 7am and Monday morning at 8:45, my life is going to change and be far, far different.

There is of course another countdown running.  A week from today, I'll be standing next to the Bellagio fountain with a big smile.  EVE Vegas is near.  We have our plane tickets, hotels, and even a show lined up.  We're heading out on Thursday and will hopefully meet up with my sister inlaw who will be there on business.  And then it's time to nerd out.  :)